11 YEARS

It's 11 years ago today that Steve and I said I do. I know how people say all the time "oh it feels like yesterday.....". For me - it really does. I remember every detail of the day from the sweet note that Steve sent over that morning as I was getting ready. To seeing the rose bush finally bloom for the first time just one single yellow rose. To getting to the church and walking toward him knowing that we were meant to be together and I would never let him be without a pair of shoe laces again. Ask him - it's his story.

We have a lot to show for the last 11 years. I can truly say I am more proud of the last 11 years of my life than any other time. We are a perfect match and we compliment each other well.

Steve, I will love you forever and ever. We have created an incredible life together and I am thankful everyday for it and for you!! We have 5 amazing children that make us the luckiest parents in the world. I don't hope I know that the next 11 years will be even more remarkable than the last.

This one's for you - you got moves.....

OMG Anthony is 2!!!!!!!

Can someone please tell me where the last 2 years went?!?!? I'm so sad :( Anthony is the baby and is spoiled spoiled spoiled! Get's what he wants when he wants. The faster he screams the quicker he gets what he wants. He is by far the most photographed of all the kids. I know it's supposed to be that way with the 1st kid and by the time you come to the last there should be none but it was the opposite here. Why?!? Cause he's the last baby and I don't want to forget ANYTHING!!



Complete:




omg look at how adorable!








So handsome




Where's Anthony:



Ughhh I won't miss cleaning messes like these:

He loves his Daddy!

making deals:







Brothers:

Look at those curls!!! Happy Birthday to my Chukka's - I love you forever and ever!

Famerfest 2011

It's summer, it's August so it must be time for Farmerfest! It's out annual get together with our friends. It all started when Farmer (only the chosen few know his real name) moved far far away south. He makes the looooong trip every summer with the family to visit. To make life easier so he can see everyone in one shot we have a BBQ - hence Farmerfest!

The boys:



the kids:









trouble here:



The annual "throwing in the pool" of Cheryl





Ughhh one year can we not throw me in:




The summit - this is where your voted IN or OUT of the group:



Kevin your such a pig:



Your a perfect match for these pigs....



seriously get a room:

It's the not so simple things......

Sometimes things aren't as simple as you want. For me this was the last of the "not so simple" things in my life:




and now it is simple again and well that makes me happy so maybe it is the simple things

For my loves!

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something

you must always remember. You are braver than you believe,

stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

But the most important thing is, even if we're apart..

I'll always be with you.”

Winnie the Pooh

Happy 4th of July

I know it's over but I've been just a tad busy with 100 things. We had our annual BBQ and it was a blast as usual! Lots of food - too much as usual a good time with our friends and family. Here are some pictures of the festivities in no particular order

Samantha catching some air:

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OK the boys thought it was a good idea to cover the slide with sand and then throw water on it not sure where they were going with this but it didn't matter they were having a blast:

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This kid loves his ice pops!

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Steve taking flight:

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Oh yea that left a mark:

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Sam cheesing it up:

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Anthony's big catch - oh he had a whale of a tail to tell.....lol

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My brother and sister - he just got accepted into the NYPD academy - Very proud of him!

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I hijacked a cake that was brought and wrote Congrats over it for Billy - notice the little gun I drew too:

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Anthony with his Uncle Louie saying cheese:

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the kids all waiting in line for their sparklers.

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Anthony's 1st sparkler:

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Sam the professional:

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Fun times for sure!!! Can't wait for next year! In the mean time BIG things are in the works for Samantha's BIG 1st double digit birthday coming up.

An honest and accurate record

I know I have said this before about how this blog was started. It was about keeping Steve up to date with his kids and all their going's on. Then it kinda took a mind of it's own and became so much more. Now it's all that plus a sounding board of sorts for me I guess. I want my kids to look back on this blog years from now to re-live their very well documented childhood and know I gave an HONEST and ACCURATE record.

Steve always says I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I am angry, hurt, happy, sad - whatever the emotion I don't really hide it. It's right up there with my inability to keep my mouth shut when others might think not speaking up is best. I disagree I think speaking up for wrong and right IN THE MOMENT is always best no matter what and no matter to who. Now don't confuse me speaking up with being disrespectful. Just because I disagree with you and say as much isn't being disrespectful it's being honest. I can't stand when people are fake it's one of my biggest pet peeves. I would much rather someone tell me I made a mistake and it affected them then for that person to be upset and tell EVERYONE else but me.

Recently some not very nice things were said about me. No you don't need to know what was said and who said it just that words were said and to me words hurt more than anything else. Now the "me" from years ago would go on a tyrant (is that the right spelling?? Man why didn't I pay attention when they taught grammar I probably skipped school that day....or week) ok back to my point....Anyway I'd come back screaming and yelling and just act like a complete maniac. Now don't get me wrong it has taken all of my self control (and Steve's better common sense when it comes to these things) to not completely lose it. The thing is I am proud to say I am smarter now and know that screaming and yelling won't get me anywhere. Don't get me wrong I do from time to time but no different than anyone else ok maybe more than most but whatever. I don't need to scream when I can write.... it's much quieter dont'cha ya think? This blog is my honest and accurate record.

Words hurt and they are unforgettable and when they come from the last person you would ever think to say them it makes it even worse but if they can say them you should know they have been thinking them or have been made to think them for some time and that is just the way it is. I figured out years ago that sometimes when relationships end abruptly you have to think of it as a death. Not of the person but of the relationship. I think it is only normal you need to morn what is lost, what could have been and what will never be. I know in my heart that for this particular relationship(S) I did all I could and more. I was a very good friend and I know that. Sadly I could have moved mountains and it would have just not been good enough. I take comfort though in knowing that I didn't do ANYTHING to justify those words and for that matter the implications that came after them.

I love my life I really do. I am happy about every bit of it. I've got 5 amazing children anyone would be happy to call their own. A husband that every other husband should aspire to be and what every little girl should look for. I have no regrets and the few I have had over the years I have gone back and made right even the ones where it was very clear it wasn't my fault but it was just easier to be the bigger person. I'd give you the shirt off my back - well not really cause I am not a good sharer but I would go and buy you one even better :)

You know how people say "life is too short" well if your like me you just kinda shrug your shoulders and agree but still think your invincible. Of course life isn't too short I mean just yesterday I didn't think that the day would end. Seriously just when I thought it would I looked at the clock and it was only 1pm. Here's the thing the day eventually ended and the kids all lived to tell about it :) Then last night as I was laying in bed, Steve next to me passed out from however many ambiens he needed to get a solid 6hrs, I thought about the day and you know what.... it was a really great day with the kids - ALL OF THEM. Then I thought more and realized the day did go fast and I didn't appreciate it in the moment.

So I guess my whole point is that life really is too short. It's too short for the unnecessary drama and bullshit family and friends get caught up in. It's too short not to say your sorry and make right your wrongs. Sure sometimes things are to messy and you just need to walk away but it better be extraordinary circumstances. Life is too short to not appreciate the small things right down to the garbage man beeping for Anthony to come outside so he can see the big truck which he freaks out over every Tues and Friday morning or all the extra "parents" in my kids lives that help me to get them all where they need to be when I am going in 5 different directions. The simple act of sending a Thank You note that has seemed to gone out with the VCR. Seriously how hard is it to send a thank you note. Add that to my list of pet peeves. If someone does something nice SEND A FLIPPING THANK YOU NOTE it's very easy. Take a piece of paper write "Thank you for doing that thing you did that made my day a little brighter" sign your name spend the .44 cents on a stamp and MAIL IT shortly after the good deed was bestowed upon you. Make your children do it for pete's sake. It's the little things for me that really are BIG things that anyone else would see as no big deal but I'll remember forever - oh and believe me I remember my thank you's! Yup I'm keeping score and I don't care.

Just yesterday I was 18 and wondered what my life was gonna be like. Well here I am at 35...35 right?!?!? Yes 35 and I don't wonder anymore - it's pretty damn perfect and I'm not gonna be quiet about it anymore just cause Joe Schmo has it crappy and could do something about it but would rather be miserable which then makes me feel bad cause I'm not miserable. I am a ray of sunshine god dammit so deal with it! What did I say a few weeks ago.....

"be responsible for the energy you bring into a space" Well I'm walking away from any "bad energy" that comes my way cause life is too short to dwell on the bad. Make it right and have a good night. LOL.....that's was just funny cause I made it rhyme.